Reframing Waiting as a Nurturing Potential

A few months ago, I came across a TED podcast, “It Takes Time,” in which Manoush Zomorodi interviewed a zoologist, a neuroscientist, a NASA engineer and an architect about things that take time.

I listened to their stories as I walked through a forest of tall pines. To reach their full potential, these trees lie in wait. A seedling might spend years appearing to just sit there, patiently waiting for an opening in the canopy that signals now is the time to grow. The podcast was right.

“Some things — to reach their full potential — simply cannot be rushed.”

Months later this idea continues to resonate with me, because of its inherent truth—but also because choosing to wait is never an easy, one-time decision. Waiting is hard, often accompanied by a feeling of sacrifice.

Many of us want to immediately be at our tallest.

We don’t want to wait for the space to open in the canopy, or do the often invisible work that is needed to grow. But this mindset also discards all the important things that are happening as we prepare for our moment in the sun.

What if, instead of the sacrificial frame of waiting, we used our waiting time to learn? To slow down, to take note of how we feel and behave, to drink up what is happening around us and prepare for growth? This new frame in which to approach waiting runs counter to our culture.

Much has been written about the instant gratification of the times in which we live.

Click, swipe, decide, delivered. We have fast food and fast fashion and the whole world is merely a few clicks away. On top of all this, we have an endless source of distraction in the palm of our hand—an always available escape from the mental challenge of simply waiting.

Do we even have any use anymore for the timeworn saying, “Good things come to those who wait”?

What does that even mean, in times like these? This year, most of us have been schooled in a lesson on waiting. We’ve spent an entire year waiting—to see family and friends, for lockdowns to end, for vaccines, and for the pandemic to end. Depending on where you live, you may be still waiting for permission to live the life you paused in March 2020—and one of the hardest parts of this waiting is that all along, we’ve had no idea how when the waiting will end.

Uncertainty mixed with waiting might be the least popular cocktail. But waiting itself—the simple act of patience—has always been difficult but rewarding work.

Recent research confirms the old axioms: patience is a virtue. Patient people are not just more able to accept their present circumstances — people who practice patience exert more effort towards achieving their goals, are more adept at achieving goals and feel better about their life overall.

It helps to remind ourselves that in work, just like in the forest and life in general, there are certain things that are worth waiting for. Things where, to reach their full potential, they can’t be rushed. Viewed in this light, patience and potential become two sides of the same coin.

And then the real question emerges, what potential is your patience nurturing?

For some it’s that role you’ve always dreamed of, with the most rewarding work and the most in-sync team. For others it’s starting that business that solves a real problem. Perhaps it’s the opportunity to leave a legacy for the future.

If you do decide waiting is the appropriate gear for one of your goals – how might you reframe that waiting space?

Keep your belief front and center to help yourself endure the winds of temptation, distraction and instant gratification. One support is to dig into the why of what you are working towards. Another might be to reframe waiting as unfolding, observing and emerging. Another might be defining the timeframe you are working with – what has a short- or medium-term reward, and what are you playing the long game for?

Use your waiting time to learn: take note of how you feel and how you behave, notice what is happening around you and how you are oriented, and know that the waiting might just be essential preparation for the day when the sun shines through and your potential is unleashed.